Unmarked Territory

We had quite an interesting discussion in class about the "There is No Unmarked Woman" piece. One of the questions that were raised was whether or not Tannen's essay and topic is outdated. With society opening up to having more strong women and granting more equal opportunities for women, you would think that they are being treated on equal grounds in all aspects, that this controversial topic is no longer a major issue. However, this problem is actually more relevant today. Women have been and still are being subjected to judgment on a daily basis. Let's take the surname example. It is "traditional" to have the wife adopt her husband's surname. At the same time, some see it as the wife being "less herself" and more reliant on her husband's identity. On the other hand, there are cases where the husband adopts his wife's surname, possibly due to mutual agreement or because the wife comes from a more well-known family line. In these situations, the couple is likely to receive a lot of judgment. Because the woman didn't follow the "norm" she has people talking behind her back. "Oh, how disrespectful." "She's too ambitious for her own good." "Did she possibly marry someone less capable?" Due to the deviation from traditional standards and the change in status of women, it is more common to see a couple take the woman's surname instead of the man's. That doesn't mean society has readily accepted these changes and become open-minded as a whole. Women are slandered for trying to advance, for trying to live as an equal to the male sex, for trying to make their own statements. If a woman changes her surname she's viewed as weak and submissive. If a woman doesn't change her surname she's viewed as overly ambitious and disrespectful. Isn't this a lose-lose situation? Women will always be seen and treated as the marked gender. There is no unmarked territory for women. Women don't have the freedom to walk out without immediate judgment. For the men out there, if you acknowledge the fact that you are fortunate to be able to live unmarked by choice then alright. If not, then you need to open your eyes and be even more observant of the judgment directed at women that goes around because you may be judging all the time without even knowing it. Unfortunately, there is no unmarked woman.